Mood of a Person

Hmmmm..24th of July..3 month back…22th of april is the worst nitemare where i encounter..why??My eldest Brother had pass away In a game of soccer..due to overheat at that day and heart stroke..were very sad to write abt this stuff..where people look  at me is always Smile on teh face..But at that Moment..when my dad ask me to go over to the shop to look after the shop wif him while mum and Ah kor go striaght to THH hospital to visit my brothere there..ard 11.45am..when i driving..My dad HP call me..Myyy Brother…..had Die at the ambulance…..Was Soo Shock dat this is not goin to be truth..stop at the RoadSide..My tearS drip..without control it..i burst into Tears..It was the nite mare of that moment..No1 ard me..no1 i can console wif..no1 i can talk to..No1 is wif me…but i got to be Strong..when i reach my shop..My dad is in tears..the very moment i saw it..my tears drip again..as dun wan my dad to see i cry..i pretend to push all the goods into the shop..when keeping the stuff..I cry wif silence..my dad and i went to hospital rite after that..saw my 2nd brother there..crying real sad..( u will not understand teh feeling..really bad..the feeling is like a Axe had hit onto u..real pain Really pain when u see ur parents Cry like dat )then went into the awake room..m eldest brother is there..lying motionless wif his favourite Liverpool jersey…where my parents and relative ard..i dun wan to think much…i keep blaming my eldest brother for leaving us like dat where i know he also dun wan to leave us at the moment..but in order to stop me from crying..i got to do this..( Min..i am really sorry..Hope u forgive me when u are in heaven )Mark aka my eldest brother..we not really dat close as he like to bully me when i am young..and everytime i will say to him that when u get old..i will bully u back..but there is realy no chance to do dat aleady…he is Gone..Gone for Good..And Really….i REALLY mis him sometime..like whenever i need hm to pay my thing using his visa..he sure be there for me..but just dunno why i and him just get Piss off over a smal thing..i really regret that to happen..how i wish i can give in to his studdon way of life that he do to me…( I was crying now..dunno why…maybe just too sad..)i still remember the last tiem he sit my car is when i got a dvd head unit in my car..he said he so impress wif that and wan to borrow my car..and i said when he need it..he can always ask for me..But..everytime i just give crap reason for not lending him ( to selfish of me..)if time can reverse…i really will not be so selfish to hm…Leiw Chin Min aka mark..My brother…although ite now watever i said also useless…But i Do Hope Heaven can let me be ur youngest Brother in my next life again..no matter wat u wan to do to me..i WILLING…I WILLING TO DO ANYTHING TO BE UR YOUNGEST BROTHER IN MY NEXT LIFE..Ok..after crying for this blog..time to go on without my eldest brother…days for me is a Stressful day..Why??/Because my mum will think of him every now and then…rite until now..whenever we talk abt mark..she will be the 1 crying at the corner..and not that i cold hearted to tell her not to cry..but…just dun wan my mum to be too upset..after 3 month had pass…i really got the image of my pass eldest brother in my mind..i dream of him few time aleady..everytime..it like a continue life style that begin in my dream land.Why i can dream of him while my other siblin cannot..I know..i so long nv write my blog liao..dunno who will see this Boring Blog..but i do hope dat those tat really spend some time  that read my blog people..Do care for those ard u..Dun lose liao then regret this and that…NO point.. Lastly..i got thing to say to some1 i like..我一直等待那心情有点不明不白..好奇怪我心中的爱不晓得要往哪里摆..遇见了你感觉到全世界的微风都吹向了我,我应该要向你表白.不管什么的时候任何的地方,我真的希望你会陪我去遨游.我没有鲜花,没有Money..只有一个真诚的心.我的心我会相信你一定会给我好的答案!!!我想我这次不可能再重来…只是很想你..K.